we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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