Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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