I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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