just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Houston, we have a squirter
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
