forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
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