I just threw up on my dentist
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
