I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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