Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
He has the fingertips of a God
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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