I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
