Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
