What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
