I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
