She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
nutella sex= disaster
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
