why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
