Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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