He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Operation Purity has been aborted
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
