i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I'm always down for nudity.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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