when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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