Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I think I just sharted jello shots
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
