Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
someone owes me an orgasm
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
