so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
