I just made out with a guy for $7.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
