You smell like a Billy Joel song
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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