There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
