Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Randomize
