just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
