we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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