SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Randomize
