oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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