how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
