THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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