life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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