rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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