so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
