there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
