Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
