i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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