sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
