i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
where are my eyebrows?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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