My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
