I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
