remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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