i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
