I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
