I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
