Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Who did Billy Mays play for?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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