the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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