i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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