i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
