dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
