I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
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