One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
